Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Crawling back in bed

We were watching 13 going on 30 tonight. I had forgotten how cute that movie was. There is a scene in the movie where the lead character finds herself emotionally lost. She goes home to her parents house and crawls into bed with her mother where she felt safe. I could not stop crying at that scene because it was so touching.
I have been emotionally crawling in bed with my mom for over 38 years. I run to her when I am lost and because of that I am a spoiled baby. I can't take care of myself and I crumble when things get out of whack. My Parents have always bailed me out. It is because of this, Jeff and I are seriously considering moving from Vegas. As much as it will rip me apart, I feel as though I need to do it to survive. There is no work here. Work that Jeff can do that will pay our bills. The business is at a standstill and I am working my ass off with my day job and with Avon.
The thought of moving scares the crap out of me. I have lived here for 34 years. I know where everything is and I am comfortable here. But realistically, if we are going to move, we have to do it soon. Alyssa is getting at that dangerous teen (you ruined my life) years where she will hate me if we move closer to her time in high school.
We will not move anywhere without a real job prospect. We are not the "I left with $35 in my pocket" type of people. But we have to make some serious decisions soon. Because it is getting crowded in my mothers "emotional" bed.
And to tell you the truth, my father never let me in the bed. I always had to be snuck in the room on my mom's side and sleep on the floor. It sucked