I was asked recently to get a driver history report on myself. No problem, the last ticket I received was in 2004 for an “illegal turn” that made absolutely no sense and which I fought to the end.
Yadda yadda yadda, I go online to print out my report. That is where the magic happens.
Picture it: April 2006, Las Vegas
The Tatum’s and the Rosner’s are moving. The Rosner’s to a fabtabulous house in an age restricted community where children are shot and a poodle is a required accessory.
The Tatum’s move from a 2 bedroom shoe box to a house where (and I quote from Abbe) “That has a living room, you can land a plane in.”
Mass chaos ensues and we all vow to never, ever, move again.
Present time: April 2007
I go online to print out my report. All is good until I look at my license part.
EXPIRED 3-26-07.That’s right; I let my driver’s license expire. I never got the memo to renew because apparently they do not forward memos from the DMV to avoid identity fraud and I never changed my address on my driver’s license because, well, I am an idiot.
So I called my DMV and told tem the deal. The lady was pleasant and said “that is ok, you are within the time limit to avoid a fine but you do need to come in and get the license in person” “All you need to do is take your vision test.” SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEECHHHHHHHHHHHH HALT. Wha wha what?
My left eye is still healing from my cornea surgery two years ago and my right is still suffering from the eye disease.
I can see. Don’t get you panties in a bunch. I can see subpoena’s, small print, labels on valium bottles, etc… However my distance is off and I cannot see at night. Knowing this, I try at all costs to avoid driving at night and I do not have the kids in the car if I do.
So I go into panic mode BUT I try to stay positive. I go to the DMV on Monday and play dumb. When I get up to the counter I say nothing until the vision test. I pressed my forehead on the machine to light it up and see…… nothing. Fuzzy little blobs that I cannot tell if they are letter or numbers. The lady was super nice. I told her that I had recently had eye surgery and she told me to come back with a Drs Note to prove I can see.
Come back?? Come back?
So I started to panic again. My surgeon isa real hole. He is a jerk, his staff are jerks and they have never been pleasant to me at all.
CLIFF”S NOTE BLOG ENTRY
After much begging and pleading, I get my letter, go back to the DMV and get my license.
I am a jerk. I make constant lists but I leave out important things.
Whatever, I am all licensed up until 2011.