Sunday, February 11, 2007

I will NEVER EVER do this again.

There are many things I will never ever do again. Having a birthday party at my house for my kids is one of them. Emma wanted a sleep over for her 6th birthday. H - E double hockey sticks no. So I told her she could have a semi sleep over. A pajama party where her friends come in their jammies and stay a few hours. A few. That is where I screwed up. Abbe said parties usually last no more than two, I chose three. Three house with nutty 6 year olds. I told the parents to go because I didnt want to entertain them too. There were no objections. Three hours by themselves???

I had the party timed out perfectly. At 6 the guests arrive. At 6:30 we eat. At 7, crafts, at 7:30 face painting. 8, dance contest, 8:30 cake and sundaes. 9 get the heck out of my house.

They were very loud. Little girls like to screech and yell. Little girls apparently like to body slam other girls. Abbe started the lawsuit chart on the chalk board pantry. Every time a kid cried, fell, pushed, shoved, choked, or tripped, Allie and Abbe got the chalk out. We figured it was the amount of parents that will eventually sue us because their kid biffed it at my house or the fact that when we did the dance contest, "push it" by Salt and Pepa came on the the chicks were groovin to it. By the end of the night there were 17 marks.

I have a new respect for Emma's kindergarten teacher. These kids are nuts. One in particular was ADD, psycho, crazy. Funny enough, her mommy was last to pick her up so we figured her mommy knew she was nutty too. I have never seen Jeff want to punch a little girl so hard before.

Then there was the little girl who would not give up her gift for Emma. The "puppy." She wouldn't put it by the other gifts and wouldn't let Emma hold it. We finally had to put it away.

Also the one girl that had the cooter itch. She was digging away all night. That was unpleasant. I am assuming for her as well as those around her.

One little girl told me that her mommy was "out on the town" and she was going to have to sleep over in Emma's bed.

Never, ever again. We invited 15 little girls and all 15 showed up. 15. I must be on crack. An hour and 20 minutes into the party I couldn't find Jeff. He turned up upstairs in the bedroom spooning with the cat. I cursed him out so bad he had tears in his eyes.

I couldn't have done it without Abbe and Allie. The teacher in them held the party together for me. The also maintained crowd control along with the countdown until the final hour.

I am way too old for this.  Pictures with captions are on the left. Feel free to comment. Double click the first picture and use the arrows to go through them.


lvgaber said...

I really dreaded this evening. I hate going out my house. However, I had a blast! Julia was totally in her element and got her total swerve on! Your house is BEAUTIFUL! You and Jeff are so cute! I look at you two in awe.
Wow. I will never feel guilty about my parenting skills again. Those parents were CRAZY!! Pick up your friggin kids on time and get out of the house!! Stop gawking!!!!  And those kids were CRAZY!!! Does anyone teach their kids please, thank you, or shut the hell up?? Allie and I had an absolute blast! The party was amazing! You don't give yourself way enough credit! That party rocked! Maybe you can become a LV PROfessional? Bring it on Steve N Kids! Cyndi's Bringing Down the House Kids' Parties...Has a certain ring to it?

loraloo0604 said...

I sure hope you had a bottle of Jack Daniels ready for yourself after that.

randlprysock said...

We've braved through some similar parties.  My house has been destructed on many occassions.  This past year we said enough was enough and we had very quiet family only birthdays and I was so thankful to get the break.  I feel for ya!!!!  Hugs,