Sunday, January 28, 2007

If you have a lawyers kid sleep over, don't let the puppy bite her in the ass.

Alyssa had her friend sleep over this weekend. The first ever. I never let anyone sleep over because I do not like to be responsible for other people's children. Especially children who are daughters of personal injury lawyers. Which this little girl was. Alex has been friends with Alyssa since kindergarten and Alyssa has already slept over at Alex's. It was our turn. They had a blast but I was a wreck. Emma had a fantastic time at Abbe's place with Julia. HER first sleep over without her sister. She was so proud. Hopefully both girls will be asleep by 7 PM. 

We got jacked on our taxes this year. We were hoping it would fund our trip to Texas but we got an 1/8 of what we got last year and it is barely enough to cover our gas. It is going to be reallly tight. And... I won't be getting paid for that trip because I used my vacation for Laguna.

So it has come down to this. For my 37th birthday I will be walking Fremont street to earn some extra scratch. Someone, somewhere wants A piece of this.

Monday, January 22, 2007

I'm a weiner

Thanks to mom with the baby sitting , Jeff and I had two weekends in a row of date night! How exciting is that? We have met our quota of alone time for the year in the first month.

This weekend was a Safari Club International banquet. Bass Pro Shops had a table and Jeff and I were invited. For Jeff, it was a chance to hand out a few business cards. For me it was a chance to get rip roarin drunk off of free Bay Breeze Cocktails and “talk” to his boss. I had this huge plan to shake him by the shoulders and ask him what was wrong with him. Didn't he know what a good guy my husband was and why is he jacking him around? My other plan was to get him to come on to me and have Jeff get really angry and threaten to kill him unless he got a $40,000 raise and a promotion. Ya well, Mama doesn't get hit on too much anymore and the possibility of that ever happening was slim to none.. It could have happened when I was cute and young and wore hats.

Regardless, I had a lot of fun. These people were LOADED!! I guess you would have to be to go on Safari’s on other continents. They had a live auction with a real auctioneer, a silent auction and several drawings. One was a drawing with the admission ticket. A drawing which I won!!! I won a Ruger Black Powder M&& rifle!!!! Jeff couldn't believe it!! Since it was black powder I didn't need an FFL so I took that puppy home right away. I was proud. Proud, drunk and carrying a gun. Well well, ain't that America? But seriously, I have no intention of using it and plan on giving it to Jeff who has already placed it in his gun cabinet. That was my weekend.


We also sat in 40 degree weather on Fridaylistening to Emma’s kindergarten class sing winter songs on Friday night but I didn’t win anything that night, except  frostbite in my butt.

Friday, January 19, 2007

Scrubs was a friggin masterpiece last night. And as dorky as it sounds , just as good as the Buffy musical episode. I know, Jeff and I are most special. The best song? Guy love. Although the poop song was great too. I think it is hilarious that JD calls Turk "Chocolate Bear" because I call Jeff a big bear all the time. But for completely different reasons. I called him bear out loud in our old house so the fat little gay man next store would think I was a beard for Jeff's gayness and would mow our lawn and sweep our driveway to get Jeff's attention.

For my confused homosexual challeneged readers: A beard is someone who acts like a wife/ girlfriend - husband/ boyfriend so the gay person can lives the way society expects him to live. A bear is a big hairy, burly man who is gay but is not flamboyant in the least.  See here.

Thursday, January 18, 2007

She completes me.

Well, guess what? The little strung out crack whore kitty came crawling home last night, cold, hungry and just seeking a little “lovins.”  Well I can’t really say all that for sure. Minnie left on Saturday. Yesterday I had put very detailed, color missing signs up in my neighborhood. Coincidence that she came home last night?? No, someone must have taken her in their house since it has been 27 friggin degrees outside and when they saw my signs they realized she belonged to someone. That is what we think happened. But Hello??? Call me! Don’t just boot her out as if she had been whorin the streets this whole time. Anyway. She came home, scarfed a can of tuna down and slept in the guest room the whole night. Alone? No because my big queer, big bear of a husband insisted that he sleep with her so she would know that she was missed. That is right, Jeff spooned with Minnie last night while I slept alone in our bed. Spooning with a cat under the age of one may be illegal in 15 states. .Today he is getting a cat breakaway collar and an ID tag. Just in case she has a few friends / johns she needs to hook up with.

Tuesday, January 16, 2007

a blah week for me

So, Minnie, my kitty ran away. She was last seen on Saturday but she really hasn't eaten since Thursday. This is adding to my funk. I am very, very very, sad about this. This is the third cat that has run away from me. Well, in 11 years but still. It is hard not to take that personally. Minnie was special. I really loved her and it is 27 degrees outside. That is the part that makes me the saddest. I have put an ad on craigslist and I have reported her missing with the animal society. I hope that wherever she is, she is warm and cozy and she is not upset but the stupid new puppy they have brought in which of course led her to run away in the first place. It was stupid for us to bring in a new dog so soon.

I am still very down and I do not know why. I am working on it. Jeff is an amazing person who is very patient. But then again, so am I.

Monday, January 15, 2007

I had a bad weekend and I cannot seem to get away from this funk I am in. I went to my company "holiday" party on Saturday and I guess it was OK. I haven't been too excited about anything lately. We leave for Texas in about 6 weeks and I am very excited about that but Our financial situation sucks rocks as usual and I can't understand why. It is not as if Jeff and I buy ponies and pixie sticks every day. We buy food and utilities. It sucks rocks and I am sick of it.

We sent out over 100 flyers advertising Jeff's business and I want some action now!!!

Wednesday, January 10, 2007

Movie I made

I made this film using the Laguna pictures I had. It is supposed to look as if it was filmed by a 1970's video camera. Take a look. I am practically the next George Lucas.

Family in Laguna

Tuesday, January 9, 2007

Loraloo is a friggin wonderwoman. She may even have  the invisible plane and cool bracelets. She helped me get my sound back and now I can hear Harry and all of his magical powers.

Sunday, January 7, 2007

Help me Obi One, you're my only hope.

          I need help and I need it now. This is another PC problem. Brought to you by Dell, the maker of my computer, I somehow lost, deleted, destroyed, etc... my audio device in my computer. We get a software from the library every now and then and one day I was deleting the programs from my computer since they cannot be played without the disk. It was after that when it happened. My sound stopped working. The message says that there is no sound device in my computer. When I tried a system restore, my computer went NUTS!! IT would not come back. IT would only return in safe mode where I undid the system restore and everything was back to normal. I tried it twice at two different dates and the same thing happened both times. I have no sound which is a real bummer because I cannot even watch the Harry Potter trailer. You know this makes me oh so sad. 

Help me Obi One, you're my only hope.

Friday, January 5, 2007

Project Samra “Sami” Queen of the Nile Tatum is going remarkably well. She sits, stays, lies down, and goes through the doggie door to go to the bathroom. She is super smart. Spooky is playing the alpha dog role with amusement from us. That dog has never so much bared his teeth and to hear him growl at this goofy. Wiry, jumping thing is very funny.  Sami just jumps over him which confuses and angers him. Minnie on the other hand stares at her and mutters under her tuna breath. All the while flipping up her middle claw.

So a Pharaoh Hound is only red or tan. We are confused. It looks like a duck, acts like a duck, etc… But she is black as night. Jeff takes her to the vet on Monday to get her spay stitches out. I wish there was some sort of doggie DNA testing we could do to get the actual breed

Above is a picture of a real Pharaoh Hound and a picture of Samra



Tuesday, January 2, 2007


!. I got my pictures from Laguna back!!!!!! I went online and saw this.


2. We got a new doggie. Her name is Sami and she is a Pharaoh Hound. Jeff found her at the pound. She is 6 months old and very excited. VERY EXCITED. We have to get used to her. I can't say that Minnie or Spooky are too pleased right now but I am hoping that it will work out.

5 things that happened to our family this year

  1. We moved. I wouldn’t wish that on my worst enemy. It is stressful and scary. (we still haven’t unpacked all the way
  2. Traveling half way across country. With two kids under ten in a mini van. We actually had a blast and had more fun once we reached our destination.
  3. Emma started Kindergarten. Hello??? My baby starts school?
  4. Otis Died. Ten years of dedicated service.
  5. Jeff and I think of the new business. This may impact our entire life. I hope it does in a positive light.


Yesterday was spent getting Jeff’s mailers together. This is it. Here we go. We are hoping that the business phone rings with someone other than a collect call from the Clark County Jail.