Monday, February 20, 2006



We started Saturday off with a LONG drive to Pahrump for Jeff’s father, Pat’s memorial. I was very nervous about going because I thought that Jeff’s cousins would give him a hard time about not visiting in 8 years. I was also nervous about seeing people that I did not like in the first place again after 11 years. 

Let me tell you a little about Pahrump. Have you ever watched NASCAR and wonder where the people that watch it religiously come from? Well, that would be Pahrump, Nevada. The tumbleweed of the country. That place is nothing but trailers, brothels, casinos and a Super Wal Mart. Not to sound like a snob but, not my cup of tea.

The memorial was to start at 1PM but since we had not been there in over 8 years we got a little lost, Jeff would not ask for directions so we got there at 1:30 PM  There were about 30-40 other people packed into Bonnie (Pat’s girlfriend) and Pat’s trailer. I must say a very nice trailer. Two years ago they bought a new one and it was really big and nice. It looked like a regular house on the inside. When we arrived, Bonnie shouted out to everyone that Pat’s son was here and about 25 people come up to us and shook our hand telling us what a loss it was for them. Several of them told us that they played cribbage with Pat and their games will not be the same. Some told us about a cowboy shoot that he took part of.

I went over to talk to Jeff’s cousins who I had not seen since our wedding. One of them, Jeanette worked with Jeff and me at the Girl Scout camp and is actually responsible for us getting together in the first place. In the first five minutes of our conversation she told me that her little 5 yr old son was a “mistake” she gave birthto him in the back of a van and is not really sure where her (and I quote) “Husband/boyfriend” is. I asked where the beers were. Jeff’s other cousin took me to the back of her pickup where she was keeping them. There was a man who kept taking pictures of us that kind of freaked me out but he did email me the picture above which I think is an amazing picture of Pat and Bonnie this last Thanksgiving. I will put on a larger one when I get home.

It was a nice memorial and I did break down a little when I spoke to Jeff’s Uncle, Stan. He was Pat’s brother and he told me that we didn’t need to come and that he understood why we were upset with Pat all these years. I truly loved Stan from before and he is the only one that Jeff actually missed. I also teared up a bit when I said goodbye to Bonnie and she grabbed my hand and told me that this was our home too and to not be a stranger.

I can’t tell you if we ever go back. I cannot tell you if we will ever see these people or Bonnie again. I just know that a part of my husband’s life is closed for ever and we can never go back emotionally. I am very happy that Jeff saw Pat in the hospital in his final weeks. I am very happy that he brought pictures of our beautiful little girls for him to see and was even more thrilled when I saw them displayed in their home along with our wedding pictures and a picture of Jeff’s brother and wife and me and Jeff from our wedding day as well. I am very happy that we went.

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