Monday, January 30, 2006

Jeff’s father, Pat passed away yesterday. He was 67. He had a collapsed lung and cancer in the other. He was a chain smoker, a drinker and a gambler. He took care of Pat and Pat alone. He was a nice enough man but selfish. He and Jeff’s mom split a long time ago. He came back when Jeff was 18 and reintroduced himself to his two boys. Jeff followed him to California and eventually to Las Vegas where I met him and started a new life for him. Pat was a user and would get together with women who took care of him. He and his girlfriend lived an hour away for over 9 years and came to visit once. Jeff’s brother had written him off years ago. Jeff never really thought about him and now feels nothing. I think he feels bad for not feeling bad. Pat was a father but Jeff’s Step Dad, James was a Dad. James is the man we consider the girls other grandfather. I don’t hate Pat. He was a part of the man that I love so much, I cry when I think about it. I love Jeff because he is an amazing husband and the best daddy I have ever met. I thank God everyday for him. I believe everything happens for a reason.


unwoundrodeo said...

Rick and I are both more upset about Pat's death than we expected to be.  I believe in my heart that the responsibility to cultivate a relationship with the boys was Pat's. He was the parent and they are the children. As the authority figure, he is responsible and accountable for the relationship or lack thereof.  Saying that, the blessing lies in knowing that we as parents must not put the burden on our beautiful kids. Even though they are nothing like Pat, they (we) can be so much  better. I hear people quote Proverbs 22:6 very flippantly. It says ...Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it. As I think of Pat, I'm forced to think of how I parent. Do I ALWAYS train in the way they should go, or do I scream? am I impatient? am I selfish? I do fall short. I am thankful for Pat. Regardless of his character and depravity, God chose him to create Rick and Jeff.  The thought that God can and does use sinners to work His will amazes and overwhelms me.  I love you Cyndi.

cyndiblock said...

I love you too, Jen, And I think that jeff is feeling something too. He just doesn't know how to identify it. And that is ok. I think that the memorial service is on the 18th.