Thursday, December 29, 2005


The resolutions I would like to make the resolutions I will make

Lose weight

wear lighter clothes and darker colors

Read at least one classic book

Re read all of the Harry Potters


Do the video instead of watching the video

Get better organized

pay the bills for the current month

Do more crafts and activities with the kids

Stop telling them that the craft store is closed when they want to go.

Read to Emma every night

Rewind her movie to the very beginning instead of telling her that the middle is actually the start of the movie.

Clean out my car and keep it clean

take out old food the day (or week) that I eat it.


Wednesday, December 28, 2005

There will be changes this year so help me......

We had a wonderful and relaxing Holiday. On Friday the 23rd we went to Abbe's for some festive frolic and food. We had so much fun. This year we picked names to hand make a gift. This was incredibly stressful for us. Jeff picked Jacque and made a plaster of Paris mold of his hand (ala preschool!) He was so very proud of his gift to her. She had his name and made this absolutely amazing blanket with pictures of his life on it. It was so thoughtful and beautiful that the little school bag I made for Abbe seemed really small and stupid. I owe her a scarf HANDMADE by me. Abbe had Alyssa's name and she was amazing. She made a mezuzah out of clay. She MADE A MEZUZAH!!! With the torah parchment inside!!! And I gave her a school bag that I colored on.  Allie had my name. She made a fish terranium with a live betta in it. And I made Abbe a dopey book bag with a picture of a bird on it.  As you can guess, I am not happy with the gift I made for Abbe.  Anyway. we had a great night. My father was extremely bitter that I won trivia pursuit. I think that these happy pills the DR gave me are making me smarter.

On Saturday ( Christmas Eve) My mom, the kids and I went shopping!! That's right, shopping. It wasn't too bad. The girls would stay in the car with wither my mom or me. We would switch off.

We had a fabulous, homey dinner that night. It was so relaxing and sweet.

The girls went to bed surprisingly early after putting out the reindeer food, milk and key lime pie for Santa. (we didn't have cookies)

Christmas rocked. My parents gave me a new diamond pendant. We had a killer bagel and lox brunch.

The girls made out like bandits.

On Sunday evening we lit the first candle of chanakah at my mom's friend, Sue's house.

It was really nice.

Wednesday, December 21, 2005

There is a fungus amung us

Everybody at work is sick. They all have the same thing. We are seriously working with a skeleton staff. It kinda sucks when you work in a news station because the news doesn't wait for the robotussin to kick in.

4 more days until Christmas and Chanankah. This year Jeff and i will attempt to make latkas. We got each other new cell phones. They are nifty. They have a camera on them. We each downloaded a song that would ring when the other called. When Jeff calls on my phone it plays the theme to the Dukes of Hazzard. and when I call him it plays "Brown eyed girl" It took us forever to decide what to use. When Abbe calls me it plays the theme to "the People Court" She is really into that show and got me into it too.


Sunday, December 18, 2005

no doubt

This has been an emotional and trying week for me. Not only did I find out I was loopy but I had to go one and be Super mommy. We had so much to do and it isn't really fair to take my crazies out on the kids. Thursday night was Alyssa's Holiday show. She was wonderful!! I was so proud of her. She sang and danced her little heart out.  But then there was Saturday. The story I am about to tell you is true. The names have not been changed to protect anyone.

We had two birthday parties to go to on Saturday. I have to honestly say that this the worst part about having kids. All these friggin birthday parties. Well the day started out wonderful. We (my mom, me, Alyssa and Emma) Went to IHOP to have breakfast. While we were there, The hostess told us about the Christmas festival they were going to have in the shopping center we were in.  The best part, it was all going to be free! Me likeeee free. They were having pictures with Santa, free stockings, petting zoo, balloon maker and face painter and then after you could make a Christmas craft. It was great. The best part??? I didn't have to go to the mall to get the girls pictures with Santa!

So we did this for an hour then we went to Target to finish up some shopping. All a very pleasant experience.  Then it changed.

Our first party was at 1PM at McDonald's for Emma's friend, Kayla. We get there at 1:10. Kayla and her dad and brother were there but nothing was going on. People were showing up but nothing was happening. The father was just sitting there. I asked Kayla where her mommy was. She sad the MGM. That didn't sound right so I asked her father, He said she went to the DMV and was on her way back. That was odd, Who decides to go to the DMV on 1. her daughter's birthday party 2. On a Saturday at 1 PM.  Apparently the father didn't want to start anything (Ie: Food, cake, presents) until the mother arrived. By 1:40 she still hadn't arrived and he was still sitting. The party was supposed to be over by 2.PM and our next party actually started at 2 PM a was across town at the strip. (Yes, the strip on the first day of Winter break, on a Saturday) We left at 1:45 because NOTHING WAS HAPPENING. SO we drove to Circus Circus Adventure Dome. AKA the other white meat of Hell other then Chuckee Cheese)  This place was mobbed. My mom asked who would make people drive to the strip on a Saturday?? These freaky ass rich moms that's who. So we get there at 2:30. after an 8 mile walk from the parking garage to the actual party place. Remember the party was supposed to start at 2PM. We walked in and a lady, or rather I say 16 year old employee walked up to us and asked us if we were here for Ann Mari's party. We said yes and she told us that they weren't there yet. That's right, 30 minutes late to their own party. Just then another mom and kids walk up to us and tells me that she is a friend of An Mari's mom and they had gotten into an accident on the way to the party. They were OK but were waiting for the cops to come. Would we like some complimentary rock climbing tickets in the meantime?  Did you see what my kids were wearing? We walked and walked and walked around and around and around looking for the rock climbing wall. I really wish they would've told me to go right because it was right on the right hand side of where we were standing.  Alyssa didn't want to do the rock climbing wall once she saw the skeezy man running it and I wasn't happy with her climbing up with a rope that may or may not beattached properly because this guy makes $1.85 an hour. But we did bump into the birthday girls mom's friend again. At this time it was 3PM. She told me that she called her and they were still waiting for a tow truck because  car was undriveable. Probably another our to two hours. That was our cue to go. As soon as we walked the 8 miles back to the car and got ourselves buckled in, Emma said she had to go potty. I said "hold it because there was no way I was getting out of that car until we were miles from it. The girls were starving so we drove back to the McDonald's by my house which also happened to be the same one that Kaylas's party was at. We get there at 3:40. My mom takes Emma to the bathroom while Alyssa and I go through the drive thru. And lo and behold. Kayla's party was still going on. 2 1/2 hours later. I almost went in but I was exhausted by then. Besides, Emma was crying because she got a "boy toy" in her happy meal and I could feel myself going nuts, well, nuttier. Well anyway, pictures are here of the day.

The end.

Thursday, December 15, 2005

MS stands for Mental Stability.

 Which apparently, I have none. I got the results of my spinal tap yesterday and even though my visual EEG and my MRI show the disease, my spinal tap came up negative. My neurologist says that the ST is 100% accurate. So we are stumped. Actually, that was his words. I was too busy crying about the pain I have in my legs and the electrical shocks I get through my body and headaches, blurred vision, loss of memory, etc….. I am more or less, nuts.

I am probably creating these symptoms as a way to relieve my stress. Stress. It should be a four letter friggin word because I hate it. For the past three years that was my diagnosis. There is nothing I can do for it. It was always be there. And as many yoga classes I think about taking and as many baths I relax in or trips to Laguna I go on, It isn’t going away.

I am very sad. I don’t know why. I don’t have a debilitating disease. I should be rejoicing. However, I am not. I am in pain and I was basically told that it was in my head. Jeff got the mother load when he married me. I am such a prize. A crazy, stressed, neurotic, blind fat woman who fills his life with guilt, anger and pain.


I had a whole day to think about it. I am now going to concentrate on my job and my children and the fact that it is Christmas and Hanukah. My favorite time of the year.

Monday, December 12, 2005

Friday, December 9, 2005

Another one???

For five minutes today I seriously thought about having another baby. I mean seriously!! I thought about where the baby would sleep (with Emma, Alyssa would get her own room out of the den) and what the baby’s name would be. (Jackson or Jacob for a boy and Maya for a girl)

 I am probably getting all these thoughts because Stace is pregnant and my sister in law in pregnant and another friend, Candace is pregnant. I also thought about how Jeff’s sister and brother both have three kids (Leann soon).

I am also curious as if we would have a boy or not, and what possibly would the next one look like. I have a blonde haired blue eyed girl and a red head, green eyed girl. (Go figure)

 But then I thought about how tired I am now, how my hips hurt so badly in the morning, about how I just want to be alone with Jeff and travel the country in a RV. Besides, I am going to be 36 in March and if I were to do this sperm/ egg thing, it would have to be soon. And then there is my mental health. Could I handle it? I cry all the time as it is now.

 And why can’t I live vicariously through Stace, LeAnn and Candace. Alyssa doesn’t want any more brothers or sisters anyway.


I figure that I have three more good fertilizing years on me.

So I was going to send out my usual place Holiday update letter again this year. I started writing and realized that besides my new job, this has been a kinda crappy year for me. My Uncle passed away in March, My Cornea was removed and replaced in May and I have been neurologically ill since about August. Some nice things did happen though. We had a fab time in the Big Apple for a week, we had a fab time in Laguna and as I mentioned before, I have a fab job here now. I didn’t really have too much to write about because everyone here at Cyndiblock Talk knows how amazing my girls have been and how beautiful I think they are. And for the most part I do wish everybody to have a happy holiday. And as for the usual family snapshot, Emma and Alyssa will be drawing family pictures this year using a finely sharpened crayon.


We didn’t get our tree yet because I was insanely exhausted last night. I barely kept awake during CSI. This one was adequate. The last couple of shows have been tearjerkers and I am very happy that they made George Eads shave off his 70’s porn star mustache.

Hopefully tonight we will get our tree.

Thursday, December 8, 2005

I’m in a foul mood today. My legs hurt and it is payday. Payday means bill day and I have so many friggin bills this week. I hate giving away my money. Now that I have steady pay I want to keep all that money stuff to myself.


Just about finished the shopping. I have three more things to get and I am done. Hopefully we will get our tree tonight. Ever since Jeff got the 56’ he likes to get the Christmas tree and tie it to the roof ALA The Christmas Story. I love having a Christmas tree. When I was growing up my father would never let us have it. He was raised as a religious Jew and basically thought that a Christmas tree was a stupid purchase. I got my first one for $5 at a flea market. Funny enough, most of the things in my life growing up came from the flea market. My dog, Coco, my cell phone, my car, my Radio flyer wagon, and my second born.  My father is a connoisseur of the flea market. If you tell him to find something he will.

The girl’s holiday plays are coming up. Emma is singing “I saw mommy kissing Santa Claus” Not a solo but it should be, the kid can belt out a tune. In her 4 yr old head, this song is the funniest thing she has ever heard of. SANTA kissing her MOMMY! It cracks the kid up. I may have to get Jeff a Santa suit so we can get a picture of me kissing him.

Hello to my sad big brother who is all alone because his wife Julia flew home to Russia. Oh you poor little baby has to fly out there to spend Christmas with her. W-ah. Christmas in Russia, what a huge sacrifice. Although I do hear that it is 900 below there. Bring me back one of those funky dolls that fit in to each other, that or some vodka.  

I told you I was in a foul mood.

Tuesday, December 6, 2005

The Facts of Life

You take the good, you take the bad, you take them both and their you have, the facts of life…The facts of life.

This song has been in my head for about a week now. Ever since the lawyer quintet on Scrubs season 2 were singing it. We LOVE scrubs and it makes us sad that 1. It may not return and 2. We are brand new lovers and season three is not on DVD yet.

So I have been busy. So busy.  I am almost done with Christmas shopping. I have a few more things to get after my payday. Santa is Alyssa’s homeboy this year. Her Christmas will ROCK!

So, I have a tad bit of news. For the past few months I have been going through a series of tests to figure out why I have been having some problems. Problems like, achey pain in my legs and thighs, tingling and numbness in my hands and feet, headaches, double vision and exhaustion. So I gave in about 30 vials of blood, (no joke), two EEG’s, an MRI and a lovely spinal tap.  I have not received the results of the spinal tap yet but up to now the doctor says he sees the disease of MS in my visual EEG and there are lesions in my MRI.?????  So there is an 80% chance I have Multiple Sclerosis. Yee ha! I was really torn about all of this because I didn’t want it to be something major yet I wanted something to justify how I am feeling. Which is pretty damn crappy. I will keep up with any news I get.