Tuesday, October 4, 2005

The Tao of pee

I go to the bathroom at least three times a day at work. Less if I am busy. Why an I telling you this? Well, it is really something that I don’t think about. I get that little feeling, I go to the bathroom, and I pee. Well, at work we have two stalls. Two stalls for about 50 women. Funny enough though I usually find myself alone in there which is how I like it. But when a small town celebrity such as one of our anchor women goes there at the same time as I do, I feel pressure to perform correctly. I feel as though they are listening and I find it hard to concentrate of my urinary duties. And God Forbid I have something else going on then I have to wait until the bathroom is empty because it just won’t happen. Is this too much info? Because lets face it, everybody has the same thoughts, nobody talks about it. If I have to do a two then I have to literally wait until the other person flushes so I don’t make noise. But at least I can go in a foreign bathroom. I know several men who can only do a two in their own home. That is just silly. It’s bad for your tummy to hold in.

And while we are on the subject… Emma who is already established herself as an odd duck, sings when she pees. That is how Jeff knows when she is really going and not faking us out. She sings a little song. I proved this last March at my brother’s place in New York Emma had to go and we muted the TV to hear her little tune. I don’t know why she does this, she just does. If she has to poop she wants no one in the room at all. She has to have the door closed and it is really serious business for her.

Alyssa likes company and wants me to tell her the story of when Jeff and I met. She has heard it a million times. “In prison….”   “Oh… prison”

Emma also refers to sleeping naked as sleeping in her butt.

Too much? Well that is what you get when I don’t write for awhile.

No comments: