Friday, May 20, 2005

My eye surgery

So basically I am blind as a bat. Except I read somewhere that bats have excellent vision. As of right now, four days after my surgery I am very sorry that I had this surgery. It has been a painful, drippy, gooey eye mess. I can barely see my monitor.  On Friday I got a call from the Dr’s office that said to come in at 9:15. They had a cancellation. My original apt was for 10:45. On Monday morning they called at 8AM and said they had another cancellation and to come in as soon as I could. I was wondering about all these cancellations. I did know that if you had a slight cold or fever you could not have the surgery. So, off we went, my mom and me. Both of us a nervous wreck. We got there is about 15 minutes. I sat in the waiting room and the nurse asked me which eye it was, I told her the left and she took out a sharpie and made a mark on my eyebrow.  I then went into the prep room. They told me to go to the bathroom because I had to eliminate any pressure in my body.  I am assuming that this meant physical pressure because if it were any mental pressure then it would’ve taken a lot longer to eliminate. So I went and I then laid down on a operating table to “relax” The nurse asked me again which eye it was and put in my IV and complimented me on my lovely hand veins. I was very proud and told her I was chosen Miss hand vein 1986. We laughed and laughed. We didn’t really and I actually wasn’t saying much at all because I was pretty tense. Then I met John. John was my anesthesiologist John was ummmm I’d say about 70. John kept telling me Henny Youngman jokes. He whispered in my ear, “ When I was born I was so ugly my doctor slapped my mother.” The nurse kind of just ignored him. Me, Well I knew John was the candy man so I laughed and laughed because I wanted some of Johns Happy candy. He gave me some and I got happy. I next remember a nurse taking me back into the bathroom and making me pee. The nurse and me. Peeing, together. I know that I was looped by then because I just peed in front of a woman and I haven’t done that since prison.  I then went to the operating room and they put the eye scapula in my eye. I am not sure of what it was actually called but I told them I felt it. The Dr, who I vaguely remember seeing, said that my eye was numb but not my eyelid. I told them that that was not good enough; I didn’t want to feel anything. So John came around again. And that is all I remember from that. I woke up and the nurse was asking me what I wanted to drink. Never ask someone coming out of surgery what they want to drink because she will say tomato juice. I don’t know why, It just felt right.  Mom was waiting for me and we went home. I just slept on that first day.  Now, the second day. (Danger music)

I went in for my post op appointment. The doctor looked at my eye and started clucking his tongue. This is never a good sign. He said that two of my stitches had popped and he would have to re stitch them. I thought it would mean back into the operating room. He meant come back at 1 and we will do it with numbing drops. That’s right. In the back alley of his office we are re stitching. Needless to say, I felt every moment of that needle going in my eye and was crying so hard that I was shaking. He kept telling me to hold still. I kept thinking, let me stick a needle in your eye and see how still you hold. I was in PAIN. Crying, hysterical, three-lortab pain. So needless to say that whole day was a blur. Blur as in I was on the couch in and out of conscientiousness and listening to American Idol and dreaming / hallucinating being in the audience.

 Day Three. Back into the office and a seal of approval from pokey finger doctor who told me that I could start on my medicine drop cocktail. I am due back on Monday.

In the meantime……

Back at the home front. Mom is taking care of me. Thanks mom. “What? The house isn’t really as clean as you would like it?? OH Ok. Go ahead, clean it.” “Yes. I know the kids stay up way to late.”  “I know, I know. You know what is best”. “Whet Mom? I really don’t know how we could not have onions. Yes, I know they are important.”  “ What mom? Dog hair? Yes, they do shed. I know. “  “ Mom? Are you going to take off your shoes the entire week? Please take off your shoes. PLEASE TAKE OFF YOUR SHOES MOM.”  “ No I do appreciate you being here. I really do. I need you here. “ “I don’t know why Jeff had to work on his days off and be in to work at 5 AM everyday this week.” I think it was an coincidence.” 

So in the end, I regret having this surgery. I know I needed it but it is frustrating waiting each day if I can see.

 Here are pictures of my eye. And a chance picture of my mom with out her shoes.

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