You have been very patient.. Really you have. I will now tell you the Reality show story that happened to the Tatum family.
Several months ago my mother saw an ad in the paper for people that want to be on a new cleaning reality show. One of my favorite shows right now is Clean Sweep on TLC. So I thought that it would be like that. So I called them and the Producer said that they were looking for the filthiest houses in America for a show called " How Clean is your House " that would be aired on Lifetime Channel. . I said that my house wasn’t filthy just cluttered. ( Quiet Mom) She said thank you but it isn’t what they were looking for. No biggie. A few weeks later. Dennis, Another producer on the show called me and said that they were looking for houses in Las Vegas and they wanted the Tatums! Oh really... I told them a little about us and when they found out that Jeff was a cab driver they got really excited. They told me to send pictures via email of all of my cluttered spots. Jeff was really hesitant. He DID NOT want to be on any reality show unless it was Pimp My Ride or Overhauled. But I sent pictures and they kept calling and yadda yadda yadda. A video interview was set up for that Thursday,
Send in Mercedes, the videographer with the very low cut tank top and perky little body that made Jeff giggle quietly every time she had to get something from her briefcase without crouching down to get it but just bending over. She asked us silly questions about the kitchen, which I answered, the living room , which I answered, the bedroom, which I answered... see a pattern? She did video the kids so they could 1. Show their panties and 2. Show off their somersault talents. Mercedes actually did not ask them to show off any talents at all and was not amused. But she took some still shots and lots of video. She was an hour and a half late showing up and stayed 2 and a half hours. OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH BY THE WAY.... I forgot to mention. They had asked us NOT to do the dishes for a week AND do not take out the trash AND spill something in our fridge AND throw the laundry around. (Quiet Mom) A week later we get a call from Alicia, another producer. She says that I did all the talking (ha) and they barely had any footage of Jeff talking at all. They needed to come back out and reshoot him, He was NOT amused in the least. But trooper that he is , he did it anyway. This time Mercedes was an hour late and stayed for two hours. I was getting pissed at this time. Fast forward another week or two and the premiere of the show airs on TV. We watched in horror. They ripped apart, mortified and humiliated this family. No way. All I needed was for child protective services to come and take my little filthy darlings away. No way. My brother called me in a panic and begged me not to do the show. My friends called, everyone called. We had already made up our minds. There was no way were going to embarrass ourselves like that. We do that fine on our own.
So I called them. After hours so I wouldn’t have to actually talk to anyone. And I said the following.
" Hello How clean is your house people, This is the Tatum family from Las Vegas. Please do not bother trying to edit in a personality for my husband because after watching the first episode of your show there is no way we are going to do it. We would rather not be humiliated on national Television. Thank you." They never called back. That is until last Thursday....I had a message on my cell phone from Alicia. She said, " Um Hi Tatum family, This is Alicia from HCIYH, Don’t hang up! Um Well, Oprah Winfrey wants to do a show on our show and we want your family to be on the panel. Please call me ASAP I need to know right away so I can contact them." HOLY CRAP!!!@ OPRAH!!!!! So, After I calmed down my internal giddy, I bounced this off of Jeff. He said" Well lets see Cyndi, I did not want to be humiliated on a small cable network with about two hundred viewers, so yes, lets go on a national show with 50 quadrillion viewers instead." Ummmm Nope. No Dice and he was right. I called and gracefully declined . Alicia asked me one more time to do her show but it really wasn’t going to happen.
SO there is my reality show experience. Let me tell you something. There is hardly any reality in reality shows. The things they asked me to do to my house to make it messier was disgusting. Don’t believe everything you see.