Wednesday, September 29, 2004

The reality of reality shows

You have been very patient.. Really you have. I will now tell you the Reality show story that happened to the Tatum family.

Several months ago my mother saw an ad in the paper for people that want to be on a new cleaning reality show. One of my favorite shows right now is Clean Sweep on TLC. So I thought that it would be like that. So I called them and the Producer said that they were looking for the filthiest houses in America for a show called " How Clean is your House " that would be aired on Lifetime Channel. . I said that my house wasn’t filthy just cluttered. ( Quiet Mom) She said thank you but it isn’t what they were looking for. No biggie. A few weeks later. Dennis, Another producer on the show called me and said that they were looking for houses in Las Vegas and they wanted the Tatums! Oh really... I told them a little about us and when they found out that Jeff was a cab driver they got really excited. They told me to send pictures via email of all of my cluttered spots. Jeff was really hesitant. He DID NOT want to be on any reality show unless it was Pimp My Ride or Overhauled. But I sent pictures and they kept calling and yadda yadda yadda. A video interview was set up for that Thursday,

Send in Mercedes, the videographer with the very low cut tank top and perky little body that made Jeff giggle quietly every time she had to get something from her briefcase without crouching down to get it but just bending over. She asked us silly questions about the kitchen, which I answered, the living room , which I answered, the bedroom, which I answered... see a pattern? She did video the kids so they could 1. Show their panties and 2. Show off their somersault talents. Mercedes actually did not ask them to show off any talents at all and was not amused. But she took some still shots and lots of video. She was an hour and a half late showing up and stayed 2 and a half hours. OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH BY THE WAY.... I forgot to mention. They had asked us NOT to do the dishes for a week AND do not take out the trash AND spill something in our fridge AND throw the laundry around. (Quiet Mom) A week later we get a call from Alicia, another producer. She says that I did all the talking (ha) and they barely had any footage of Jeff talking at all. They needed to come back out and reshoot him, He was NOT amused in the least. But trooper that he is , he did it anyway. This time Mercedes was an hour late and stayed for two hours. I was getting pissed at this time. Fast forward another week or two and the premiere of the show airs on TV. We watched in horror. They ripped apart, mortified and humiliated this family. No way. All I needed was for child protective services to come and take my little filthy darlings away. No way. My brother called me in a panic and begged me not to do the show. My friends called, everyone called. We had already made up our minds. There was no way were going to embarrass ourselves like that. We do that fine on our own.

So I called them. After hours so I wouldn’t have to actually talk to anyone. And I said the following.

" Hello How clean is your house people, This is the Tatum family from Las Vegas. Please do not bother trying to edit in a personality for my husband because after watching the first episode of your show there is no way we are going to do it. We would rather not be humiliated on national Television. Thank you." They never called back. That is until last Thursday....I had a message on my cell phone from Alicia. She said, " Um Hi Tatum family, This is Alicia from HCIYH, Don’t hang up! Um Well, Oprah Winfrey wants to do a show on our show and we want your family to be on the panel. Please call me ASAP I need to know right away so I can contact them." HOLY CRAP!!!@ OPRAH!!!!! So, After I calmed down my internal giddy, I bounced this off of Jeff. He said" Well lets see Cyndi, I did not want to be humiliated on a small cable network with about two hundred viewers, so yes, lets go on a national show with 50 quadrillion viewers instead." Ummmm Nope. No Dice and he was right. I called and gracefully declined . Alicia asked me one more time to do her show but it really wasn’t going to happen.

SO there is my reality show experience. Let me tell you something. There is hardly any reality in reality shows. The things they asked me to do to my house to make it messier was disgusting. Don’t believe everything you see.

Monday, September 27, 2004

So Sad

This is killing me. This happened right behind my house. The girls and I saw the accident on Wednesday morning. I SAW it. I am on this intersection everyday. It could have been me. It is killing me. It was a three car accident.

Sunday, September 26, 2004

What an exciting weekend!

The motorcycle man is a guy I saw on my way to Abbe's house this morning,. I loved his tattoo covered by his overalls. Something a little sexy about that, mmmmmmm

Had my lab yesterday and mastered a very hard technique and had many compliments from my professor. I left there flying ten feet high.  It is getting a litlle easier now that I am using some of the relaxation techniques she tought me. I am less tense in the class.For all my friends who say they will be my guinea pig. Bring it on! Because in one year I will have my certification and I will be charging you $65 an hour. No freebies Jack, Mamma's gotta feed her babies.

Had a fabulous weekend at Abbe's. It was her daughter, Julia's 5th birthday party and the girls had a blast. It was a princess party so princess attire was required.

AND THEN THIS IN THE NEWS!! I am thrilled. I want everybody to love WHO THEY WANT!!!! Without people judging them. I know who you are. You, behind the Republican, back off and mind your own business. Hello!!!

'Sex and the City' Star Nixon in Lesbian Relationship

Sex And The City star Cynthia Nixon is having a lesbian relationship with an unnamed female, according to reports. The Emmy-winning actress, 38, who played cynical lawyer Miranda Hobbs in the hit TV show, has apparently been dating a woman for the past 10 months, since splitting from long-term boyfriend Danny Mozes. A friend tells the New York Daily News, "She's just a private citizen who would like to remain private." But Nixon is refusing to confirm the reports, insisting, "My private life is private. But at the same time, I have nothing to hide. So what I will say is that I am very happy." Her and Mozes, who met at high school, have joint custody of their children following their separation in 2003.

Friday, September 24, 2004


I have cankles. You can't get rid of them. They are there forever. I tried medication and lotions. It doesn't work. Cankles are when you ankle blends into your calves without a break. It happens with bigger girls such as myself. 

Monday, September 20, 2004

The Rich and Poor and what it is that divides us.

The Old Navy Wrote me this today:

Dear Cyndi,

Thank you for your e-mail. We understand your concern regarding the
report of a Chicago-area teenager with Crohn's disease and her request
to access the restroom at an Old Navy store.

Old Navy and its employees deeply regret the embarrassment that this
young lady experienced while shopping with us, and we never want
something like that to happen again. A representative of Gap Inc., the
parent company of Old Navy, contacted the family to apologize upon
learning of the incident. Old Navy's non-public restroom policy was
clarified as a result of this incident. Old Navy does allow restroom
access to customers in emergency situations.

Again, thank you for your e-mail. Your feedback is appreciated.


Customer Service Consultant

Thanks Ed. I am sure that if Ed had Crohn’s Or if Ed’s child had Crohns, That manager would have been fired by now.

Anyway, I an thinking a lot about rich people and poor people. When I had a problem with the manager from The Gap store last week, she treated me as though I were cheap slime. Abbe pointed this out to me: These employees that are snobby in their expensive store have no reason to be. They are not shopping there! They are WORKING there. HELLO! Get a grip Miss Gap Manager.

Alyssa saw Titanic last night and got really angry how they treated the passengers in steerage. She said "first it is men against women then blacks against whites NOW rich against poor!" She was angry.

Then tonight I took Alyssa to ballet at her fancy shmancy ballet school where rich women or their nannies take their children. Well I started knitting while Alyssa was in class and one woman was asking me about it. She said she wanted me to teach her to knit. I said sure but you need to get yarn. She said she had some that she bought in a specialty store for $40!!! I was intrigued. I told her I paid $4.00 at Super Wal Mart and she looked as if I swallowed a bug. She had never been in Wal Mart.


Sunday, September 19, 2004

Don't shop at Old Navy Because of THIS STORY




Sunday in the park with Linda

No pictures for a fun day. I left my camera at home. We went to the brunch at the Palms and then went to the park for two hours! It was cool and windy. So nice.

Saturday, September 18, 2004

It was a mixed emotions kinda day

At about 2 PM Alyssa said the cutest thing. She said that this was the best day ever. When I asked her why she said that first she helped out it Emma's Ballet class then we went to Savers., and then we went to Abbe's so she could play with Julia. It got me thinking that Alyssa's needs are so simple yet they make her so happy. I wish that I could be like that. Why can't I be amused for hours with wrapping paper, tape and empty boxes? My world has become a complex scribble that ties me in knots. It doesn't have to be like this at all,  I make it like this. I let the past control who I am today and I hate it. I am learning meditation in my class. It may have to become a necessity for me to obtain my reflexology goals.

Earlier today after my class , My mother and I got into another moot argument. I was on a emotional tightrope about to fall off when my friend, Nicole called to update me on her sister. Stephanie was rushed to the ER last night after she fell at work. ( She is a valet) She was in major pain. Stephanie is a marathon runner and in incredible shape. When Nicole called me today she told me that Stephanie was going into surgery because her ball joint on her hip had detached and fractured. They were putting pins in it and she will be in the hospital for a week. She will also be in recovery for up to 14 months and will have to walk with crutches or a cane indefinetly. After 14 months she will probably get a hip replacement. I just broke down. I just had to let go of all the emotions I was feeling that day and that was it. I felt so sad for her because she is only 27 and now her whole life has changed in a second. I adore Stephanie. Alyssa is in love with her son, Donnie who is exactly 1 year older than her. He is also Gage's cousin (see previous post) who Emma is in love with. They are betrothed. Anyway. I was a wreck of emotions and I am just plain sad. Going to Abbe's tonight made me feel better as it usually does. We had a nice dinner and just talked all night. I love that.  I love my friends. Is that too cheezy?

Friday, September 17, 2004

Happy New Year!

To all my Jewish friends and family, It is Rosh'Hashanah. We went to dinner at my Mom's house last night. We probably ate this huge meal in about 3 nanoseconds. The usual folk were there. Little Gage and Emma were together. Nicole, Gage's mom brought flowers for him to give to Emma and she was thrilled and nutty all night long.  Tomorrow is 8:00 lab, ballet and Dim Sum. YAY

Wednesday, September 15, 2004


Flip - flip - flip - flip - thump - whomp - fall - OW . That is me doing flips through my blog! I got a 92% on my first test! YAY! Go figure. I wanted to scan the test but my professor kept them. By the way the lungs are lateral to the heart. and a cut from the top half of your body from bottom half is a transverse cut. HA!

Tuesday, September 14, 2004

Cyndi: A midlife crisis

I am trying to do a physical and mental makeover. I am documenting the physical part. Trying to eat healthier and drink buttloads of water. I am also learning meditation and all about Chinese herbs. We will see what happens!

My first test is tomorrow. It shouldn't be too bad. I also got our tickets to Laguna. My Mom and Dad are taking the girls first on Monday and Jeff and I are going up during the week. It is only for a day and a half but Julia's whole family will be up there. I am so excited. I hope the girls don't make my dad have a spell. He gets a little tense around them. Heck. so do I.

Sunday, September 12, 2004

Harder then it looks

Teaching a 3 year old how to eat an artichoke

Saturday, September 11, 2004

Again, Cyndi??

For the record, Do not go into the GAP KIDS in Summerlin. The manager there is a raving hormonal twat who probably took one look at my Dim Sum stained tee shirt and assumed I was there for a hand out. Hey lady, Dim Sum ain't cheap.And if I wasn't in such a hurry to get my shrimp ball down my throat before little piggy Emma got her grubby little paws on it, I wouldn't have a stain at all.

Thank you Luba for the gift certificate. It was very sweet of you. We did manage to get some lovely goodies for the girls. I had my lab today. It was moved to Saturday morning at 8:00 AM. Not a good foot healing time for Cyndi. It was hard and I want so bad to get it right. I was very tense today. Bad screamy day for me.

SO this is another promise to me day. Look at that picture of me. I am the one in the middle. I have yucky Bay City Roller/ Farrah hair. It is too long for my double chin.and I need a new set of glasses because the librarian look is not a good one for me anymore. I need to look my age. I got carded the other day at Bingo ( long story) and the chick that carded me was a year younger than me This will be my before picture. On Monday, I will try to get a hold of my life and body. I am going on SAM-E a new wonder drug, so I heard. I want to eat right and start relaxing. I am way to blitzed to be human.

Today was September 11th. I still can't help crying when I see the names scrolled on TV. Now I know what it must have felt like on December 7th, 1941. Very sad.

Tuesday, September 7, 2004

MONEY makes the world go round

Got my financial aid today. Yee Ha! It was about time. I owe my peeps some dough y'know? None left to buy some bling I gots to pay the utilities dig?

It will be fun trying to get Sveta to translate that! HA!

Sveta is my number one fan in Moscow, Russia. She is also my sister-in-law, Julia's younger sister. We have never met. My family ADORES their family. We are all going to meet up in Laguna in November. Julia's parents will be in America because Luba, (Julia's older sister) is having her baby! Got all that?? Julia's parents don't speak english so Julia or Luba will translate. We think that they may be talking about us so we listen for our name.

Monday, September 6, 2004

I put all my white clothes away.

Well, it is Labor Day. The official end to this endless summer. Today was a fabulous, beautiful day. Abbe invited us to her "community pool". Her Community pool is a  fabulous lagoon that is this giant swimming pool that looks like a beach with real beach sand and everything. It is totally cool! Well since today was labor day they had a end of summer bash with kiddie rides, bounce house, snow cones and games. It was really cool. The girls and I had a blast.

Sunday, September 5, 2004

Frankie says RELAX

There are a lot of things about me I would change.I would eat healthier, work out, meditate, relax, de-stress, challenge myself more, and last but not least, learn to not take evrything to heart. I am hoping this class will help me. I mean geesh, the idea of reflexology is to promote relaxation. How am I supposed to help someone else to relax when I am a sparkley nerve bucket myself?  I am working on it. There is no class tomorrow because of labor day. A busy time for Vegas. People please tip your cabbies. Do you not know that? You would be surprised to know the amount of people who do not tip. We live off of tips. Remember that next time you are at a restaurant or in a cab.

Thank you America

P.S. Pictures of the girls last night. Asleep.

Friday, September 3, 2004

Umm this is kinda hard

Last night was my first lab. Ugh! It was really hard! We worked on each others feet for an hour each and my shoulders, wrists and forearm were killing me! I am not used to it. My professer, who is fabulius, told me not to worry about it. She said we were too tense ( A TeePee and a Wigwam... hahahaha  get it? Two tents!) And we were too anxious to get it right the first time. But I still love it. I cannot believe I am a medical student. I am 34 but surprisingly enough, one of the youngest in class.

Remember people, this is not a massage class, it is healing through pressure. But I still love to give foor massages and will do them for anyone who asks.

The picture is of the girls and my friend, Nicole's son, Gage.We went to lunch last Sunday. Emma is betrothed to Gage. She was conceived the night he was born.I know, I know, TMI*




*Too mucho information.

Wednesday, September 1, 2004

Happy Happy Joy Joy

Your are really going to hear so much about my classes that maybe you too will get your certification at the end along with me. I am so stoked! I love it! Tonight was anatomy and physiology. What? Again? Yes, I did take it last semester but this is A & P with a reflexology point of view as well as a holistic point of view. And it is easier for me since I just took this class. Remember please that these classes are with the same teacher and students all semster long as well as next year. On Mondays I have History of Reflexology and Applied practice and guidelines which is a course about feet. On Wednesdays it is A & P and Thursdays it is my hands on Lab. Tonight was amazing. It was a get to know you class where you all stand up and introduce yourselves. There are 4 nurses, 4 holistic healers, 2 massage therapists, 1 herbalist, and 2 teachers. and others. This is an amazing group of people. The teacher said that she will be teaching about meditation, chakras and auras as well as the holistic healing practice of reflexology. I am so excited I could bust. I actually learned to see auras tonight. I actually SAW IT!!!!! I am a holistic medical student. SCREEEEEEECH!!!!!!!!!!!!

Things I don't understand

things I don't get.

Sports pages, rims on cars, Avril Lavigne, Why Paris Hilton is famous, the financial aid office at my college, people who do not tip their cab drivers, people who blame others for their children behavour(sp), Nascar, Monster trucks, celebrities who can do whatever they want and do not get in trouble, celebrities who write childrens books and get them published just because they are famous, how we still break out after we are over 21, weight gain on some people and not others, people who are reading my resume and not hiring me or even calling me for an interview (don't they know me?), why Emma repeats everything 5000 times, why and how Alyssa turned 15 overnight, why Jeff refuses to let his hair grow, why Emma thinks it is funny to write on the carpet with a marker, why Alyssa cut out hearts in my drapes, why Spooky drinks out of the toilets even though he has a full and clean bowl of water.